Twilight Watch Review – A Distinct Lack of Sparkly Vampire Baseball

Twilight Watch
A fantasy novel by Sergei Lukanyeko

score: **** outta five

I’ve already briefly touched on the previous (and probably best) novel in this ‘trilogy’, and Bradley has already reviewed the whole trilogy, so this will be brief, and mostly about the series as a whole.

Actually… mostly I want to bitch about the cover. Read more of this post

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Odd and the Frost Giants Review – Norse Myth for Kids

Odd and the Frost Giants
A children’s fantasy novel by Neil Gaiman

score: *** outta five

“We won’t die,” said the bear, “because we can’t die here. But we’ll get hungry. And we’ll get more wild. More animal. It’s something that happens when you have taken on animal form. Stay in it too long and you become what you pretend to be. When Loki was a horse-“

“We don’t talk about that,” said the fox.

Another entry into kid’s fiction for Neil Gaiman, and another playful foray into mythology, Odd and the Frost Giants is about Odd, your mandatory plucky young hero cleverer than his years, and, well, some Frost Giants (of course!). Throw some boastful yet dimwitted gods and you’ve got yourself an amusing little yarn on your hands, but, admittedly, not much more than that. Read more of this post

The Scarecrow and his Servant Review – My Destiny Calls and I Go!

I only wrote my children’s literamature article a couple of hours ago, and already I’m a bit embarrassed by it. I think I muddled it up a bit in trying to get my intent across. Perhaps I’ll write a response to it some time, but in any case, here is a review of the book I had mentioned:

The Scarecrow and His Servant
A children’s fantasy novel by Phillip Pullman
score: ***** outta five

“And you know, you were quite right about my brain,” the Scarecrow said reassuringly. “I don’t miss it at all.”

What to do when you, an inanimate object, stuck in a muddy field, are suddenly gifted with life? When a chance lightning bolt grants you something so mysterious and complex? Why, seek adventure, of course!

What do you do when you meet such a creature? When you are a boy with no prospects and no family (thanks to the wonders of war), with nothing to him but his wits? Why, become his servant, what other choice do you have? Read more of this post

Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Children?

Fairytales and Censoring Reality

Everyone is familiar (I hope) with the classical fairytales. They’ve been deconstructed, reconstructed, parodied, devoured, destroyed, homogenised and fed to us since their inception, but we always remember the basic, original concepts the best. Girl visits grandma, girl gets pre-empted by extremely shady wolf, grandma gets eaten, wolf gets stabbed in the gut and everyone leaves happy (except for the wolf). They are straightforward, they are often very dark, and they represent the simple aphorisms of our childhood, drilling into us what we should and should not do (in the last case, well, strangers are bad, kiddies, and don’t fucking wander around alone, kiddies) and telling an entertaining story along the way. Read more of this post

iDon’t Care.

So I sorta do care, really, but at the same time I don’t.

Anyway, just in case you’ve been living under a rock today, Apple revealed their iPad. Gizmodo are having a field day with it, as you’d expect, but so are Kotaku and so are Lifehacker and, Hell, so are Defamer. This gadget is apparently relevant to lifestyles, video games and celebrity gossip. #iBradgelina, as it were.

And that’s not to mention the seething mass of squirming writhing indepedent blogs, much like ours, that are trying to get their two cents out there. I’m sure the proportion of butthurt Windows Fanboys and frothing-mouthed Apple Fanboys uniformly squash the number of people with impartial decisions. (Remember: I like to pretend that I’m impartial. And that I have some God given right to tell everyone just what I think.)

And what I think is that the iPad is a waste of time. I think it fills the niche between iPhone and Macbo- sorry; between phone and laptop pretty nicely. But I also think that it invented that niche for the sake of revolutionizing something that doesn’t need revolutionizing. Read more of this post

This week in STUFF: I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

If you recall, my laptop exploded/melted/disintegrated/got eaten by bears, and sad as the case may be I’m still without my own personal computer. Mostly this has made it hard to do anything but laze around and waste time; I did however remember to write this post this week. As usual, the Mario Let’s Play continues to go up at a haphazard pace, and Speakable Evil episode the sixth went up last week. ONTO THE REVIEWS, movies abound and a few other things as well. Read more of this post

This week in STUFF: The Fall of Forte Dante.

So Safeer broke his computer. That smarmy rat bastard. Thinks he’s so smart. Oh, I’ll just break my laptop so that Adam has to do all of the work. There’s a new Speakable Evil – a LOST Special – that I recorded today and now I’m doing Safeer’s job.
You know what I think? I think we should find him and stab him. MY LOYAL FANGIRLS, UNTO ME AND FORWARD WE MARCH FORWARD YON WESTERN SUBURBS, BLADES IN ARMS AND RAGE IN OUR HEARTS WITH SAFEER’S BLOOD READY TO BECOME DRIED UPON OUR VERY SOULS. Read more of this post