The DIAMOND NIPPLES of Galactus.

This book is basically the world’s greatest argument for re-reading comicbooks.  I mean, following the on-goings from month to month is generally pretty easy, but when you’ve got minis like this, well, things get complicated.

Heralds is basically about a bunch of girls, who we guess are friends, throwing a party for Emma Frost and then accidentally getting in a fight with the Nova.  Not that you’d really be able to figure that out after the first issue, what with all those dinosaurs and evil Einstein clones.  But come the second issue, it’s pretty clear that we’re dealing with Nova.  And, well, basically the book assumes you know what that means.

Nova is a former Herald of Galactus.  She died.  I don’t know how.  All I really know is that she had literal fiery sex with Johnny Storm.  Reading this mini teaches that Frankie was the Step-Daughter of Horton, the crazy old guy who built the original Human Torch – ya know, before Ultron turned that into The Vision.  Then he put a suit on Frankie or something and that suit could burst into flames and Reed couldn’t get her naked with his SCIENCE so she became the Herald of Galactus, which turned into a Sun or something, and then she died.

But the Nova survived and now there’s some girl on Earth who looks exactly like Frankie.  Her name is Frances and she doesn’t want to be Nova.  Spoilers: Tough Titties.

So this Nova suit is rampaging and terrorising the planet, looking for Frances and eventually she kidnaps Valeria Richards, but then they save her and Nova and Frances are united and all is happy in the world or something.  The plotting is sort of a mess.  It took two reads for me to get it all.  But, really, it’s amazingly well-written.  The pacing, first issue being a bit vague the first time ’round notwithstanding, is really great and the dialogue is superb.  All these characters, these women, from A-List through to, I dunno, D-List, have rich dialogue filled with disparate personalities.  It was a whole lot of fun to read.  Valeria Richards and Emma Frost were the far and away highlights.  But, well, when they’re written properly they’re hard to surpass.  Valeria, especially, is adorable at all times.  She has a plan for world domination “via the metric system”.  I want a six year old daughter who thinks like that.

The pencils were really nice.  But this was a weekly book and by the fifth issue, I really felt a decline in quality.  The messy quality they had stopped looking pretty nifty and started looking, well, messy.  I stopped being able to differentiate between Patsy (Hellcat) and Frances at around this point.  But I really enjoyed looking at and reading the pencils before the final book.

So, ultimately, I liked the read.  I’d recommend the trade, whenever that happens.  But, well, only if you’re willing to accept moments of being confused.  I completely missed the Horton and Original Human Torch thing the first read ’round.  Hell, I even missed that Johnny bursting into flames at the end of the second issue was Nova’s doing.  It’s a fun read but it isn’t an easy one.  I think you need to have an ulterior motive running into this.  I, for example, will be attracted to a read if it has anything to do with Galactus or his Heralds.  I find the whole thing interesting.  This book didn’t really fulfill that.  I mean, sure, Nova.  But otherwise Galactus is only mentioned and the Silver Surfer appears in maybe three panels.  This was, however, a great little character piece with some really fun pencils and dialogue.

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